ornithophobia: the fear of birds. i have it and in a bad way. i'm shuddering and clenching my toes even as i type this. haha funny funny. but not when you're innocently in your safe house and you see a trail of feathers and peek behind the filing cabinet and see the devilish creature ready to flap it's disgusting wings in your face. SCREAM FREAK OUT YELL HIDE!! then you realize about two weeks ago libby told you she saw a bird in the house and you didn't believe her. that vile, germ infested thing has been in my house for two weeks???!!!!! insert shudder. anyway, of course casey was working so i had to call my sweet daddy to come and save the day. as he was taking care of business, i called out, "is it dead?" and he said "yep" and then he yelled, "NOPE!" then there was smashing and carrying on for a bit and then the bird went to heaven. there were about 7 million feathers that i had to clean up and i didn't calm down for about 2 hours.
imagine those wings flapping in your face.
imagine those claws tearing out your eyes and scratching your face off. ugh. kill me.
ornithophobia: the fear of birds. i have it and in a bad way. i'm shuddering and clenching my toes even as i type this. haha funny funny. but not when you're innocently in your safe house and you see a trail of feathers and peek behind the filing cabinet and see the devilish creature ready to flap it's disgusting wings in your face. SCREAM FREAK OUT YELL HIDE!! then you realize about two weeks ago libby told you she saw a bird in the house and you didn't believe her. that vile, germ infested thing has been in my house for two weeks???!!!!! insert shudder. anyway, of course casey was working so i had to call my sweet daddy to come and save the day. as he was taking care of business, i called out, "is it dead?" and he said "yep" and then he yelled, "NOPE!" then there was smashing and carrying on for a bit and then the bird went to heaven. there were about 7 million feathers that i had to clean up and i didn't calm down for about 2 hours. 
imagine those wings flapping in your face.
imagine those claws tearing out your eyes and scratching your face off. ugh. kill me.
9 comments:
Gross!!! What's Mocha been doing all of this time? Good dog!
I am sorry for your pain and fear and the fact that you had to pick up those feathers but seriously, HILARIOUS! I can't stop laughing picturing it all. Particularly Brad battling it out with the bird. It is like Modern Family all over again.
Funny stuff. And disgusting too.
LMFBO. i can totally see brad chasing (and possible cursing) at the bird. oh, what i would give to have seen that!
oh, and SO gross. what was it eating for two weeks? picking up feathers is one thing, but where is it's...you know, poop?!?!
This is one of your finest posts. Having said that, I must take steps to defend my reputation from those who mock. The first line of defense in these cases is the dog, pure and simple. Mocha does very little to earn her keep. Tracking down and pointing would have been more appropriate than her laissez-faire approach in crises like this. Without dog backup, imagine my shock and horror as this unwelcome creature suddenly shot up from the floor to encircle me in flight. I will try to remain calmer next time.
Brad/dad
Dad, now you've killed no fewer then three animals inside of houses: a hamster (or gerbil) because it bit you, a bat with a badminton racket to protect Boloto, and a bird to protect Holwonder. Any others I'm missing?
I know you've killed tons of God's creatures in their natural habitat.
That is seriously the funniest thing I've read in a long time. You guys are awesome! My girls keep 'losing' our bearded dragons until they happen to show up somewhere in the house several days later. Usually as I almost step on them! Drives me nuts thinking about what they've left around the house.
I think you need to write a chapter book like Libby about all of your crazy bird experiences including Jeff and the funeral, the quails, the one at Mom and Dad's where Indie wanted to watch Casey cut its head off...Am I forgetting any? The best part to me about all this chaos is that you and dad forgot that I was there to experience this wonderful commotion and both re-told the story. Actually, seeing your reaction was the best part! You Bulkleys know how to keep life exciting!
My mother was terrorized as a child by chickens that her brother threw at her...still HATES them.
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